Estate Planning Basics: How to Choose the Right Guardian for Your Child
Choosing
the right guardian is a Gift to your child
As difficult as it may be to think
about someone else raising your child, choosing a guardian for your child with
the same values, morals, religious beliefs, and commitment to education that
you have is actually one of the greatest gifts you could ever give to your
child. Although it may be unthinkable
now to consider entrusting your child’s care and upbringing to someone else as
a “gift,” choosing the right guardian is the best way for you to ensure that
your child will grow up to be the person you want him or her to be.
Many parents often assume that their minor child’s
grandparents, or a favorite aunt or uncle, will be able to assume guardianship
of that child if both parents were to die.
Unfortunately, this is not guaranteed to happen unless you have a will or
trust in place that appoints a guardian.
Without a will or trust, this decision will be left up to the courts. And while it is possible that a court may ultimately
appoint the person you would have chosen as guardian, the only way to be absolutely
certain this will happen, and the only way to avoid a possibly lengthy court
battle, is to have a valid will or trust with a guardianship provision.
I know I need to choose a guardian –
but how do I choose the right guardian for my child?
The following is a list of factors
you may want to consider when choosing a guardian for your child. My advice to my clients is to use some or all of
these factors, rank them in order of importance to you, and then choose a guardian
(and a backup guardian) that most closely matches the factors you think are
most important.
Factors to
consider when choosing a guardian for your child:
Values and Morals:
Does the potential guardian have the same sense of right and wrong that
you do, and will that person be able to teach your child the values you believe
in?
Parenting style:
How does the potential guardian handle discipline? Will the guardian be “hands on” and play an
active role in your child’s day-to-day life?
Will the guardian support your child’s extracurricular interests
(sports, music, other after school activities)?
Religion:
Does the potential guardian share your religious beliefs, and if not,
will that person at least support your child’s religious education and
upbringing in the same way that you would have?
Education: Will the potential guardian be committed to supporting your
child’s education? Does the potential
guardian believe that education – including a college education – is important?
Financial stability:
Does the potential guardian have the resources to take on the added
responsibility of raising your child?
Does the guardian have a stable job and a secure income? Is the guardian in a one-income – or two-income
household?
Your child’s relationship with the
potential guardian: Your child may feel more secure if
the guardian is someone he/she has a relationship with already. Family members and close friends are often
chosen for this reason.
The impact of moving to a new city:
Just as choosing a guardian that your child is already comfortable with
may be beneficial to your child, you may also want to consider the impact on your child of having to move to a new city.
This factor will probably be more significant the older and more
established your child is. Your child
may benefit by remaining in the same city so he/she can maintain friendships
and stay involved in extracurricular activities.
Health and age of the guardian: You will want to make sure that your potential guardian is
healthy enough to raise your child. Age
is also a factor you should consider, especially if you have young
children. This factor is often a concern
if grandparents are considered as potential guardians.
Congratulations! – You have chosen a guardian for your child – Next Steps
Now that you have chosen a guardian for your child, you need to talk to the person you have chosen to make sure he/she is willing and able to assume that responsibility. For a number of reasons, some people are not willing to take on that responsibility, as unlikely as it is that they will ever have to actually assume the role of guardian. You should also choose a backup guardian, just in case your first choice becomes unable or unwilling to handle that responsibility later on down the road.
Now that you have chosen a guardian and a backup guardian for your child, you need a valid will or trust to implement your decision. To learn more, please go to:
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